Football season is now officially upon us. This is generally a very, very good thing, however there are a few drawbacks to football season as well (see above... Also, I'm so very sorry for burning your retinas with this photo, but we all know it was necessary to get the point across). Being a resident of the great state of California (term used lightly), we have three professional teams from which to chose, not to mention the large number of D1 universities. Even though this is the case, neither John nor I support a pro team from California and only John watches USC more passionately than a fat kid watching his cake get frosted. Needless to say, there is a certain etiquette which is grossly ignored by most fans, but needs to be spelled out for those of you whose elevator doesn't quite reach the top floor. (You're welcome).
Don'ts:
1. Be a Raiders fan
2. Be a UCLA fan ("Filthy Bruins" -John)
3. Take off your shirt and paint your hairy chest
4. Be a cheese head
5. Drink Bud Light like its water
6. Kill the opponents fans (That means you, Oakland)
7. Fumble the football
8. Call a towel terrible, because quite frankly, towels are not terrifying or terrible (sorry Pittsburg... just kidding. We're not that empathetic. Actually, we're not empathetic at all). If anything, they just like to get high (the towels...)
1. Agitate the drunks
2. Tailgate responsibly
3. Wear your teams jersey ONLY on game days
4. Get a hot dog
5. Hug the strange man next to you after your team scores the winning touch down
6. Follow your teams stats like teenage girls follow Justin Beiber on Twitter
7. Knock old ladies and small children out of your way whenever necessary
8. Make fun of people who know nothing of this wonderful sport (e.g. blondes, cheerleaders, and young children)
9. Make fun of Bruin fans, Raiders fans, Steelers fans, and Cheeseheads relentlessly
And always, make sure you have a designated driver.
Until the next time we grace you with more awesomeness,
John and Andriana
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